Try Changes
by Kiwi Erin
Summary: Zexion is determined not to be convinced that he can feel, but Demyx is tenacious and won't have any of that. So who convinces who? 69 96 DemyxZexionDemyx Zemyx


A/N: So, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, so boo.

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Try Changes

'Zexionnnnnnn!'

Zexion's eyes twitched and he sighed, placing his pen on his desk, next to the report he was working on.

'Demyx.'

'Yay! You called me Demyx!'

Zexion let out an undignified yelp as he was strangled from behind by an over-enthusiastic Demyx, pushing the inkpot out of the way just in time before it spilled all over his report. He wrenched himself out of Demyx' embrace and glared at the Melodious Nocturne, straightening his cloak.

'What do you want, Number IX?' he snapped. Demyx' face fell.

'I, uhm, I wanted to ask something. But I'll leave you alone, I can see you're busy.'

The music lover turned and walked back to the double doors of the library, his sad gaze turned to the floor. Zexion sighed again, resigned. _Two minutes._

'Number IX.'

Demyx paused, about to open the doors, and looked back at Zexion. 'Yes?' He asked hopefully. Zexion raised an eyebrow.

'What was it you wanted to ask.'

Demyx' face brightened immediately.

_I should not have asked._ Zexion thought as the blond bounced up to him, hyperness simply radiating from him

'I wanted to ask you…' Zexion inched back as Demyx grinned deviously. '…to go surfing with me!'

'Surfing.' Zexion deadpanned. Demyx nodded vigorously.

'No.'

Demyx grin faltered. 'Why not?'

Zexion scowled. 'I have work to do. And so do you, Number IX.' He said pointedly. Demyx visibly cheered up.

'Already done!' He said cheerfully. Zexion stared at him.

'You have sorted and archived all the Organisation's finances?' He made a point of keeping his voice neutral. Demyx nodded proudly, puffing out his chest. Zexion forced himself to snap out of it.

'I see. Well, that doesn't take away the fact that I still have work to do, so you will have to find someone else to play with you.'

All air seemed to seep out of Demyx and his shoulders slumped. 'Oh…okay.' The blond turned around and slowly walked back towards the doors. He paused at the door, biting his lip before mumbling, just loud enough for Number VI's keen senses to pick up on it, 'I'll just go to Marluxia then, he invited me to his chambers earlier…' He then opened the door and slipped through the opening, closing it behind him like Zexion wanted.

Zexion very nearly snarled as his fingers gripped his pen so tightly it snapped. _Marluxia! Demyx won't stand a chance, he's too naïve for his own good._ The legs of his chair scraped over the floor loudly in the eerily silent library when he pushed away from the desk.

Zexion halted halfway though his purposeful march out of his library. He took a deep breath, forcing his anger _(just a memory)_ under control before continuing in a more controlled, but no less death-heralding stride.

He stalked through the halls, going straight after Demyx' scent, which lead him to the Melodious Nocturne's own chambers. Zexion frowned. Was he not going to Marluxia? He raised his hand and knocked sharply, his aura of doom not quite yet fading. He didn't _smell_ anything floral, or otherwise Marluxia related. Not in this part of the castle, at least.

The door opened and Number IX's blond head poked through the opening. Zexion's eyes narrowed as he took in the slightly watery eyes in Demyx' startled face.

'Z-Zexion?' He stuttered, shying away from the older Nobody's view.

Zexion's scowl deepened. Was he too late? No… Marluxia hadn't been around here recently…Zexion realised his mistake a split second too late, as Demyx flinched from his dark glare.

'I-I-I'm sorry!' He exclaimed. 'I won't ask you for anything again, ever! I p-promise…'

Zexion dropped his thunderous expression and held his hands up, wincing inwardly at the tears slipping out of Demyx' blue eyes.

'It's not that… Demyx.'

Demyx' eyes widened. His lips parted slightly. 'Not?' The Nocturne asked in a small voice. Zexion shook his head and attempted a small smile, which he hoped to be reassuring.

'No.' Zexion hesitated. It was clear now what had upset Demyx, just as it was clear that the younger hadn't visited, or been visited, by Number XI. Zexion knew he had hurt Demyx, though he wasn't certain why his words and deeds affected the other so. _And yet…the boy seems so taken by the idea of having a heart, of feelings towards one another. Maybe he projected his ideals on me?_

'Do…Do you want to come in?'

Zexion sighed a little at Demyx' hopeful tone of voice.

'Sure, Demyx.'

Zexion glanced at the Melodious Nocturne's happy grin, the way his eyes lit up at his agreement. _I should not encourage him. It will lead nowhere, he will only get himself hurt. Except for he can't, he cannot feel hurt. _Zexion corrected himself. But he couldn't deny the hurt in Demyx' eyes when he dismissed him like he had. Zexion winced as he recalled his own words.

_I could have been less harsh._

He snapped out of his thought when he noticed Demyx' nervous shuffling behind him.

'Uhm, wanna sit down?'

Zexion nodded slowly, following Demyx with his eyes when the younger sat down on his bed, raising an eyebrow when he patted the spot next to him invitingly. Demyx coloured slightly at his look.

'What? I don't have chairs, never needed them. I always sit on my bed.' He mumbled, shifting his eyes to the floor. He blinked when Zexion's feet crossed his line of vision as he wordlessly sat down beside him. Demyx smiled.

'So, what do you want to do?'

Zexion stared at him disbelievingly for a few seconds, trying to decide what lay hidden in Demyx' eyes. It looked like mischief, but more akin to that of Number VIII when he tried to lure Number XIII in sleeping with him than the kind one would associate with the naïve, somewhat childish Number IX.

But first things first.

'I want to apologize for my behaviour towards you. I realize I have been unnecessarily harsh and I apologize.' After all, he couldn't say he was sorry, now could he? He couldn't feel.

Zexion's eyes narrowed slightly when he took in the intense stare he was receiving from Demyx.

'Number IX?'

He asked coolly, falling back into habit because of his worry. He did _not_ like the way the Melodious Nocturne was looking at him, he did _not_. Zexion suppressed the urge to gulp when Demyx started moving towards him, crawling over him and backing him into the headboard when Zexion tried to back away from him.

'_Number IX!_'

But to his everlasting surprise Demyx didn't back off immediately, instead staying close enough to breathe directly into his face.

'Now, now, Zexy. That isn't the way to properly apologize.'

Zexion's eyes widened, his breathing speeding up at his unwanted nickname and Demyx' close proximity. His senses were filled with the other Nobody and he blinked his eyes rapidly. What was he _doing_?

'…proper…'

Demyx grinned, leaning in until his nose touched Zexion's encouraged by the way his body was still in one piece.

'Proper.' He agreed, breathing it onto Zexion's in confusion parted lips. Demyx' stomach jumped when Zexion sucked in a deep breath, a tremor running through his body.

'What-What are you trying to do, Number IX?' Zexion's voice cracked slightly, he tried to shrink back into the headboard, but the unyielding wood wouldn't let him. Plus, it only gave Demyx room to lean over him further, smiling mischievously while doing so.

'You wanted to apologize, right?' Demyx cheerily informed him. Zexion's eyes narrowed to slits, suspicion openly displayed on his features. Demyx quickly continued.

'So I thought of a way to say sorry for you don't worry, don't worry!' He hastily added when Zexion's look only grew darker. 'No strings attached!'

Zexion's look didn't fade, but it didn't get worse either, so Demyx hoped it was safe to stay on top of him. For now.

'And what would this entail?' Demyx winced slightly at Zexion's cold tone, but gathered his courage anyway, grinning in what he hoped was an innocent manner.

'Don't worry Zexy-on! I promise it isn't any-thing…bad…' Demyx trailed off, looking a little uncertain. He bit his lip. 'I hope you won't think it's anything bad…' He mumbled, glancing at the chains on the other's cloak. Zexion relaxed a bit at that, fairly sure that Demyx wasn't trying to blackmail him into something.

'Then what is it?' He asked, his tone changing from menacing suspicion to merely uninterestedly inquiring. Demyx heard the change and grinned.

'Okay Zexy,' His grin turned sheepish when Zexion gave him a flat stare. 'This is the, uhm…' He looked for a word that wouldn't set off Zexion's suspicion. Demyx wasn't trying to pull a prank on the Cloaked Schemer, _he_ knew that, but he needed him to know that too. Otherwise it wouldn't run so smoothly.

'Deal.' Zexion fitted in for him, not minding. If anything, he was becoming a tad curious.

'Uhm, okay, deal.' Now Demyx was starting to look nervous, crawling a bit higher on Zexion, who allowed it with the raise of an eyebrow. 'So, if you could close your eyes?'

Zexion gave him a blank look. 'Why?'

Demyx pouted. 'Because I asked! Pweaeaeaeaeaeaeaease?' The younger Nobody attempted to get Zexion's compliance by using his infamous puppy dog eyes. Zexion scowled, trying hard to ignore the pleading eyes of his subordinate. But with Demyx' closeness to his face, that was a rather difficult feat.

Zexion sighed heavily while closing his eyes and leant back, semi-relaxing on the light-blue sheets.

A couple of seconds later Zexion started, his eyes flying wide-open. Soft, hesitant lips pressed to his own, unmoving and tense. Zexion nearly went cross-eyes when he tried to focus on the face so close to his own, but he still managed to see that Demyx had his eyes screwed shut, brows drawn together tightly.

_He's…kissing me. I knew I should not have encouraged him. _

Zexion frowned as he found he had to fight down the ridiculous urge to wet his lips, knowing it would fool Demyx and not wanting to do so. Demyx pulled back completely, shuffling off of Zexion and sitting away from him on his bed. He refused to meet Number VI's gaze, fumbling with his fingers. Zexion noticed he wasn't wearing his gloves.

He sat up in silence, thinking about how he was going to leave. As much as he denied the ability to feel, the boy was convinced they could and would be upset if he didn't do this somewhat tactfully.

'Demyx.' He began gently, a small, meaningless smile on his face as Demyx looked up hopefully. 'Was that the…deal?' Demyx' eyes flickered over his face, trying to read where this was going. He nodded hesitantly, biting his lower lip. 'Alright.'

The fake smile stayed plastered on his face as he slid off the bed, standing up strangely unsteadily. He put the strange fact aside in his mind to study later, focussing on the current task.

'I'll be going then, I have to finish my report.' Zexion turned and walked at the door, not once looking back as he moved to open it.

'Wait…'

Zexion breathed out through his nose. 'Yes?' He could sense Demyx getting off the bed and approaching him. 'I-I'm sorry too. I won't bother you again,' He hesitated. 'I know you don't like it when I do.' He whispered softly. Zexion turned, his fingers still curled around the doorknob as he glanced at the younger Nobody, less than 10 feet away from him. He opened his mouth.

"Okay," He wanted to say. "Can I get that in writing?", but the words wouldn't come out. Zexion openly frowned.

Demyx watched him uncertainly, not knowing what the frown was for. The tiniest spark of hope shot through his supposedly hollow chest, even though he tried to stop it. Zexion obviously didn't reciprocate. Getting his hopes up would only get him hurt.

But Demyx knew he couldn't live with that. Or not-live. Whatever. He… loved Zexion. And he didn't care what the others said (except for Zexion, that always hurt) he _could_ feel. And he believed, no he _knew_, Demyx thought determinedly, they could all feel, no matter how much they denied it.

'Zexion?' His voice was stronger now, Zexion noted. Determined. 'Yes, Number IX?'

Demyx squared his shoulders. 'My name is _Demyx_.' He said, almost stern. 'So call me _Demyx_. I don't go around calling you Number VI all the time!'

Zexion decided not to dwell on this, his report needed to be finished. And he wanted to get away from this strange sensation in his bones. They were… tingling, ringing like a soundbowl and he wanted to figure out what it was about on his own, in the sanctuary of his library.

Demyx wasn't about to let him go that easily.

'What!' Zexion let out as he was suddenly face to wood with the door, knowing he was pressed against it by Demyx. _What the… What does he think he is doing?_

'I'm not gonna let you go that easily Zexy!' Demyx yelled with tenacity, pinning the older Nobody to the door with a rib cracking hug. Unwilling to let him go, he buried his face in Zexion's neck, not letting the sharp intake of breath put him off.

Zexion tried to get out of his face-planted position with the door, but Demyx thought he was trying to get away and held him even tighter, pressing his nose into Zexion's shoulder with so much force he almost couldn't breathe. Zexion froze, trying to ignore it, _trying_ to, but the hood of his cloak was down, meaning his neck and part of his collarbones were bared. And Demyx was currently setting his nerve-endings aflame, something he didn't understand. It shouldn't be, it was only a touch, albeit a strong one, but still like any other. And yet…

'Demyx.' He mumbled into the door. Demyx' response was an even tighter hold, the exact opposite of what he wanted. 'Dem-yx! Can't… breathe!' That had the desired effect, as he was immediately released. Except for the part where he was spun around and backed into the door instead, meeting Demyx' blue eyes that seemed to shine with some inner fire.

'I'm not letting you go, Zexy!'

'What are you talking about?' Zexion ground out harshly, not knowing why he responded in such a manner and agitated by Number XI's behaviour.

'I'll help you feel, Zexion! And maybe…maybe you won't feel what I hope you'll feel, but that's ok! At least you'll feel!'

_So that's what this is all about._ Realisation hit Zexion and he let out a heavy sigh, trying to stand up straighter in Demyx' unrelenting hold.

'Demyx.' He interrupted the blonde's fast stream of sentences with the soft word, knowing he wouldn't be listened to if he sounded anything even remotely stern. Demyx fell silent, watching his expression.

'I know you wish to have a heart, and so do the rest of us,' He glared at the Melodious Nocturne when he opened his mouth to start rambling again. 'but you must realize we do not have them _thus_ can not feel any emotion. I will not be able to feel no matter how hard you try to make me so _stop_ this.'

Zexion could tell even before he finished that the blond wasn't listening, shaking his head harshly to block out the stinging effect of Zexion's cold words.

'_No_, _no_, _no_, I don't believe you! And neither should you Zexion! I'll show you! You responded to me when I came close, didn't you? You know you did! I heard you Zexy, you responded!'

Zexion glared, balling his fists at his side. The worst part was that the hopeful non-being pressed up against him so desperately was _right_. Zexion knew perfectly well that he had responded when Demyx had crawled on top of him, when he pressed his face to his neck. But that didn't prove what Demyx wanted it to prove. True, Zexion had not yet figured out what it did prove, but he _had no feeling_. There wasn't-

_Demyx!_

Demyx, in a desperate attempt to make Zexion feel _something_, had closed his eyes and kissed the other Nobody full on his mouth, ignoring his own fear (and several survival instincts) and doubt and pouring everything he had into the touch.

Zexion twitched, he tried to wrench himself out of Demyx' arms, but the other wouldn't let him go, just like he had said. He was trying so hard to get himself out of the Nobody's hold, but Demyx was dead-set on making him feel, literally endangering his own life with doing so.

Zexion did _not_ appreciate being forced into physical contact, the lavender-haired Nobody told himself. _Then why am I not stopping him? I should not encourage him even more than I already have._

But Zexion couldn't get himself to do the necessary, not responding to Demyx' distressed efforts, nor calling them to a halt. He started when he felt Demyx' tongue force it's way through his lips, not entirely believing his gall. Zexion's ever-opened eyes widened when he felt himself slipping along the door, down to the floor.

Demyx caught him, helping him in his descent, once again ending up on top of the older Nobody, who didn't resist nor respond. Zexion's mind registered this, but he didn't move to change his position. He simply sat there, feeling Demyx' arms hooked under his own to keep him upright. He realized something was wrong when he tried to move his fingers, finding his reactions had slowed considerably.

_What's…happening?_

Zexion fought to get his mind back under control, all the while feeling Demyx' body moving over his. He felt the beginnings of panic coiling in his stomach. But that wasn't possible…

He made a noise in the back of his throat when Demyx gently pulled him further down, pinning him to the floor with his bodyweight. After all, he thought, if Zexion didn't want him to, he could easily stop him. The fact that he still hadn't done anything to reject him gave him hope, but his lack of movement in general confused him. Worried, and fearful, Demyx sat back on his haunches, pulling away from the older Nobody on the marble floor.

Zexion's mind informed him of that fact. _Good._ He tried to take the opportunity to get up and leave Demyx' presence, to flee to his empty library.

His body would not move.

Zexion managed to bend his arms to push himself up, but everything below his waist was numb, unable to listen to his brain's commands. He stared on blindly, eventually closing his eyes to fight off the tendrils of panic.

_What is happening to me?_

He jerked when he felt a warm breath on his lips.

_No…_

'Zexion?'

Zexion didn't respond, keeping his eyes closed against the hesitant calling of his name.

_I cannot feel…_

'Zexion?'

Zexion's panic at his immobility was mirrored in Demyx' voice.

_I don't have a heart. And so does he._

He clung to that knowledge, holding on to it as if it were the only thing that could keep him from falling into the same trap as Number IX. He would not make the same mistake of thinking he could feel.

'Zexion!'

Demyx gripped his superior's shoulders and shook him, trying to get a reaction from him. Zexion's lips parted but his eyes remained closed. Demyx straddled Zexion's thighs and pulled his upper body up, crushing him to his chest and rocking back and forth, fear for the other's well-being openly displayed on his features.

'Demyx. Let go of me.'

Demyx almost did so, loosening his arms around the other's torso, but then shook his head and wrapped them around him even tighter than before.

'I told you I wouldn't.' He said stubbornly. Suddenly he was shoved off of Zexion and he looked up fearfully at the older Nobody, now towering over him.

The next moment a dull thud resounded in Demyx' chambers when Zexion's unsteady legs could no longer carry him and he collapsed to the floor.

Demyx scrambled to get to him, sitting next to him on the white floor and biting his lip nervously.

'Z-Zexion? A-Are you okay?' He tentatively reached out a hand to touch Zexion's forehead, fearing he had angered him to the point where he would never forgive him but far too concerned about his health not to try and find out what was wrong. His fingers made contact with cool skin before his hand was snatched away by Zexion, who pulled him over himself harshly.

Demyx' face was only a breath away from Zexion's, staring down at him with wide blue, fearful eyes. 'Z-Zexion, I-I'm sorry,-'

He was cut off by Zexion's hand, grabbing the back of his neck and crushing their mouths together forcefully. Demyx gasped, eyes widening to the size of saucers before screwing shut. Zexion fisted his fingers in Demyx' blond Mohawk.

_I don't know how this is possible_

Zexion felt Demyx respond in kind and tightened his grip on the other's wrist, tugging him over himself further.

_But my insides feel as though my organs are trying to switch places with each other_

Demyx crawled over him fully, pinning him to the floor. Zexion squirmed against him, biting at Demyx' lips.

_I cannot control this…urge_

Demyx whimpered and tried to lick the sting from his lips, but Zexion immediately captured his tongue, bringing it into his own mouth.

_But this is no emotion, just lust_

Demyx tried to wrench his wrist from his grasp and Zexion growled lowly, digging his nails into the soft skin.

_I am behaving…possessive, as well_

Demyx pushed against him, trying to get closer to him. Zexion shifted, spreading his legs for the blonde to lay in between them. Demyx did so readily.

_I…I…am enjoying this…I _like_ this_

Zexion felt Demyx' hand twitch and reluctantly loosened his strong hold, allowing the blood to circulate through his fingers.

_Could he be right? Could I… Could we all…__feel?_

Demyx whimpered again, tugging on Zexion's hair.

He squirmed, and Zexion realised he was trying to break loose from the kiss. He frowned, but allowed it, relaxing his hand on Demyx' neck. Demyx broke away panting, resting his chin on Zexion's shoulder with his nose pressed into the marble floor. Zexion's ears twitched with the loud sound of his breathing. He stared up at the ceiling.

_Is this feeling an emotion? This contentedness with laying with him, combined with the urge to pull him closer?_

'Z-Zexion?' Zexion closed his eyes, breathing out deeply through his nose.

'Yes, Demyx?' He felt Demyx press his face into his bare neck again and it sent sparks through his body. Zexion decided to investigate later why his neck was so sensitive. Right now he had to focus on Demyx' words.

_What is this calm? _

Demyx inhaled Zexion's faint scent, shifting his weight slightly. 'Do-Are we…okay?' Zexion's eyelids fluttered and he turned his head away from Demyx' face, subconsciously realizing it was to bare more skin.

'Okay?' He muttered vaguely. 'What is okay? It's not what it was before this. Why don't you tell me whether we are okay? You are more experienced with this.'

Demyx' eyes widened and he shot up, hovering over Zexion on one arm, the other still in Zexion's grasp. His expression was hopeful.

'You mean, you feel now?'

Zexion nodded slowly, looking at Demyx. The blonde looked ecstatic, leaning down and nosing Zexion's cheek. 'Good!' He breathed. 'I'll help you, Zexy! We can figure it out together!'

Zexion stayed silent.

_Together? Perhaps that would be easier… Yes, that could work._

'Alright.' He whispered. 'Alright.'

Demyx hugged him with one arm, his other wrist being crushed by Zexion's responsive tightening of his hold. 'Ah! Zexy, my wrist!' Zexion quickly released him.

'I'm sorry.' He said apologetically. He blinked when Demyx' eyes were suddenly staring straight into his own, searching.

'You _are_.' Demyx agreed, smiling lightly, relieved that it was working out like this. It could certainly have gone worse. And now Zexion admitted he could feel! He thought, nuzzling the other Nobody's cheek again and laying back down on him.

Zexion allowed this, relaxing on the white marble floor of Demyx' chambers with the Melodious Nocturne resting in his grasp.

_Maybe this will work out, given time. Maybe it will work out for all of us._

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Ende

A/N: Sooo, how did you like it? :)


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